Dialogue Times
Articles Opinions

Home (Part II)

By Arshi Yaseen

Explore Beautiful Pakistan

Tripako
Visit Pakistan; Book Hotels & Trips

I didn’t understand why she cried, as I was too little to understand it. I was only seven then, but even when I grew old enough to understand it, I still couldn’t understand why she cried, for whom she cried. For her husband, who didn’t have anything in common with her. He was quite opposite to her in many ways. She was meek; he was loud. She was poised; he was authoritative. She was religious; he was not. She was social, he didn’t allow her to go out and meet people. She liked evening walks, he didn’t like it. The theory, two opposites attract each other, opposed strongly the nature of their relation. 

She cried for losing such relation, she didn’t seem that insensible or she, perhaps, had realized the reality, but still carried it with a hope, like many other women of her time and even of our time, that her (good) time would come. In our culture that time signifies, a miracle will happen, a remarkable change will occur, the nature of the concerned party, either it is a husband or a mother-in-law, will change positively. It implies a covert meaning too, that embodies a typical domestic mentality, which relies on the idea of death of mother-in-law. Our domestic relations too involve politics like any social relation. It’s all about to have power. 

Wait, suffer, and expire, until the time comes. Carry on a relation, no matter it’s founded on mutual love and care or not – to expect mutual trust in it is an exotic idea. Carry on a relation, as it socially secures a woman, anyway. 

My Ma received the same knowledge. Her understanding was too a product of the same culture. How on earth she’d could give an exceptional response. Then she rightly cried. How she’d face her relatives, her friends and her neighbours, with a stigma of a divorced status, that everyone would hold her responsible for it, as the society fed everyone with the same set of beliefs. Here what people think about marriage deviates from its basic concept that a relation is saved mutually. 

Anyway that day Ma lost the home that provided her with a place to live in, that privileged her rightful place in the society, a social status in the eyes of people. Everything in fact was a lie, in spite of knowing well this reality, in spite of so many differences, I believe, she would still carry that marriage if it did not end this way. It’s her truth.

Related posts

“LET ME CONTEMPT THE COURT” by Aarti Tikoo Singh

Dialogue Times

Feminism: A movement to end sexism I don’t know why a lot of people are afraid of women’s and girls’ rights. So many people send me messages on messenger not to speak for (بے حیائی). Demanding equal rights for the oppressed women is not (بے حیائی). This is the fight against harassment. And dear men, harassment isn’t confined to work place only. Women & girls are even harassed in the so-called educational institutions by the educated misogynists. Can you identify an organisation, university, or any other social platform that ensures or provides safe environment to girls & women? The answer is surely No. The problem with a lot of people who call themselves so-called feminists is that they misunderstand the meaning of feminism. Feminism is the belief in social, economic and political equality of the sexes. In other words, feminism is a movement to end sexism. There are a lot of reasons of harassment that women go through. Among them, the primary one is the patriarchal society. A society where men are dominant. Patriarchy cannot be eradicated completely. However, we can struggle to fight for the rights of women by educating our youth. People ask for girls education. Girls are already pursuing education in different institutions. The problem is that they are repeatedly harassed by the nasty patriarchal mindsets that exist here. Unless we endeavour to end the system that prejudices people based on their sexes, we cannot think of a safe environment for our mothers & sisters at any type of work place. Remember, book reading plays a pivotal role in this regard. Majority of our youth are not truly sincere with themselves. Being a student of honors at Balochistan University Of Information Technology Engineering And Management Sciences (BUITEMS), I see a lot of youth in university sitting in different canteens, waisting their time being indulged in useless conversations with each other. Most of the students are concerned about marks. Getting a desired CGPA satisfy them. Majority of the students say that they just attend classes for the sake of passing time. However, there are very few ones who come to university with full enthusiasm and are truly sincere with their studies. They are the real ones who realise the importance of girls & women in this world. Apart from teaching text books, our teachers should also promote the importance of reading researched books. Teachers can play a significant role in promoting book reading culture. They can help our youth how to think critically, and how to take critical approache while reading something. Let’s not squander our time. Let’s struggle to ensure a better and safe environment to our sisters. Let’s struggle to fight for the rights of oppressed ones. Unless we the youth come out of our comfort zones and take the primary responsibility of educating each other through promoting the book reading culture, we cannot think of a better and prosperous society.

Dialogue Times

MAAZ MAHMOOD

A Ban on Bus and Subway Alcohol Ads in New York

Dialogue Times

Roger Scruton: A conservative of different creed – Dr. Akhtar Ali Syed

Dialogue Times

Dervishes Inn’….Naeem Ashraf

Dialogue Times

Leave a Comment

Dialogue Times uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More